On Friday, I resolved to stay in my happy place at work for no other reason other than to experience happiness. I was skipping around, humming to myself, talking to myself and being a dork while cleaning tables. Then it hit me that now would be the perfect time to ask something of the universe. I thought about it, and found that I had two desires in that moment that I’d written off subconsciously. (Time to quit that habit.)
Want #1: I’m allowed a meal during my shifts, but since I don’t work too often and I don’t get overly hungry, I don’t usually ask for one. Sometimes I’m extended an offer, and in those cases I accept. That day, I was REALLY craving a vegetarian quesadilla, but didn’t feel like asking for it since it’s kind of expensive and not even technically on the menu. Normally, I’d either forget about it, force myself to ask even though I felt weird about it, or berate myself for not letting myself claim what I was, after all, initially offered when I took the job.
Then I thought: what if I just took a bit of time to refine my request to one that feels good? Since I couldn’t figure out exactly what situation would make me happy, I asked the universe for simply feeling good about accepting a meal that I’m really craving, knowing that the cook is making it from a place of joy. Not something I’d normally think of asking for, but I did it. I just put it out there, gently but clearly, knowing that I’d just shown the universe that I’m now receptive to that. And I carried on humming and skipping about.
Guess what happened? The cook offered me a meal! And when I hesitated about what I wanted (didn’t want to scare her with my eagerness), she offered me a vegetarian quesadilla, with a SMILE.
Want #2: I usually finish late on Fridays, so between 9:30 and 10pm. On this particular night, I had an online class starting at 9pm. Even though I knew I’d love not to miss it, I just figured I’d be late, so I had no other expectation. But then, I thought to ask the universe: I’d love to make it on time for my course.
Guess what happened? The evening was super busy but people stopped coming in at 7:30pm. That gave me an opportunity to vacuum, and do whatever I usually do at the end of the night. I started getting butterflies. Is this for real? No, it can’t be. Someone’s going to walk in. Wait, maybe not! No, surely someone’s going to walk in.
And, true to my expectations, someone walked in. BUT! The cook let me go early, telling me that she could handle this last table.
I was on my computer at 9pm sharp, I shit you not.
It may seem insignificant, but it was VERY significant to me, because I KNEW that I created it. And all it took was a clear request.
I came home SUPER excited at having asked and received so effortlessly, by simply staying in a good mood despite unexciting circumstances. I told the story emphatically to my roommate, who told me she could feel my aura and it was huge. Usually my field is pretty small and porous, but at that moment I felt amazing.
I didn’t have to do ANYTHING to get what I wanted.
Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. It can be hard to stay joyful when there doesn’t seem much to be joyful about, and even harder to shift from what seems to be a downward spiral of panic back into a balanced state.
Though I know I’m capable of it and I’ve done it before, my challenge these past few days has been getting myself from panic to calmness. I’m starting to get familiar with where my bottom is and how to climb up from it. I’m starting to know which thoughts are a little better than the ones that are a little worse; even if they’re not the best, in that moment, “better” is enough. My bottom is slowly raising, and I’m beginning to feel like I can handle any situation.
One way I do this is by writing down the thoughts I have in the moment which help me climb out (I’m a compulsive notetaker), so in the end, I have a list to refer to and reread (and share!). The following is kind of a mixed bag of thoughts that have been helping me, in varyious situations, over the past couple days:
:: I’ve finally hit the limit of what I need to exploe spiritually to understand my physical world. Yay!
:: I’m good now.
:: I’m plateauing.
:: I’ve got it, I love myself.
:: Anxiety is not a problem.
:: Everything is energy. I don’t have to be afraid of what I see, because if I were blind I would not see it. What is important is what I feel, and I can control that, in any situation.
:: I release what isn’t mine.
:: I fall asleep & wake up with a blank mind, and it feels awesome. Not scary.
:: My overall vibration is my set point. My fleeting feeling is not as influential as I think. I feel good most of the time. I’m ok. My point of attraction is the relationship between where I am now and who I am at my core. If I stop beating the drum of my problems, I will become closer to bliss. I’m getting closer.
:: Be a healing presence.
:: There is so much natural wellness in the world and universe. I don’t have to think about my blood pumping for it to pump or the sun to stay in the sky. Goodness is the most powerful thing in the universe.
:: People reflect back to me what I feel, not who I am.
:: People can’t align me; they can only confirm my alignment.
:: These concepts are related to every major religion, what anyone knows about the universe. Why not believe? Why not believe in natural goodness? Who am I to deny it?
:: No matter what the path was, no one ever regrets.
:: Things are always working out for me.
:: There is never a reason to be guarded. Every situation is an opportunity to expand.
:: Silence is beautiful.
:: Sometimes I just know that love exists and prevails. Often I know this.
:: Love the process.
:: Every step I take in good faith is a meaningful utilization of my life.
:: Nothing can surprise me.
:: Just be comfortable in my stupidity.
:: A bug, or something undesirable, is simply a fellow universe dweller that I am not obliged to interact with, that I do not have to give my energy, attention, or irritation. Appreciate it as something that enables me to expand.
:: I love spaces with great energy flow and openness. It’s just about flow.
:: Always ask: How would the person I want to become behave in THIS situation–my present one?
:: Walk away with no backlash.
:: When I’m in the flow, all I want to do is create.
:: I can get out of the badness, it just takes a while and wastes time I could be using to feel awesome and create.
:: Just because I wonder about something doesn’t mean it has to happen to me for me to understand it or move past it.
:: Rain is cleansing.
:: I would love to try voice acting.
:: I would love to lead a wacky dance class.
:: I want to listen to more music, play more music joyfully, and dance more.
:: I want to create what my soul wants to express, whenever it wants to express it, contribute value to people and have more money flow to me than I even want to spend.
:: I love Hilary Duff & her light, and I don’t care why.
:: I am so thankful for the safety and comfort that Disney cartoons give me.
I’d love to know…
1. How do you center yourself when you feel insane?
2. What kind words do you have for yourself? How are you AMAZING!?
3. What do you dream of?
Hit me up in the replies!