I took a plane and didn’t cry. What?

I’ve been working hard.

(The 3 glasses of wine probably didn’t hurt, though.)

It was an incredible exercise in learning to let go, AND it was actually the most fun I’ve had in a while! It’s so beautiful in the skyzies.

Now, in everyday life, letting go is proving to be much more difficult. Who would have guessed that anything could be more difficult to me than taking a plane? Not me or anyone I know!

So, I’m on vacation, visiting my parents. Paradox? Trying my best, people.*

I want to put some intentional structure into my days (beyond getting up, going to work, going to sleep), but it’s feeling an awful lot like trying to “control.” I used to revel in control, but now that I’m starting to understand what that kind of habit does to a girl’s sense of trust, it’s giving me a headache. I’m like (I am) a list-making addict, feeling both delight and shame in slipping back into old vices.

But, in fairness to myself, I’m doing this SO that I can let go. I know that I need some sort of structure, and I want to make sure that I can let go, while also setting myself up for success.

(A too-logical-to-argue-with way of saying I trust Lists more than the Universe? Ugh, probably.)

Here’s what I know I’ve got to be doing, with ideas underneath each number:

1. Be still. Breathe.
Meditation. Movement.
2. Witness, accept and untangle the present thoughts.
Morning pages. Focus wheels. Byron Katie.
3. Figure out what I want.
The opposite of what I don’t want (use the focus wheel). What I’ve been inspired to desire.
4. Search for what I want to see.
Gratitude. Find evidence NOW of what I WANT my life to be filled with.
5. Act.
From an inspired, positive place, take fun action. Do what I believe I need to do to feel the way I want to feel.
6. Be diligent with my vibration.
Declutter. Limit information input. Distract myself. Focus on the things I love. Affirmations. Stop the negative thoughts as they begin. Milk the good ones.

Alright. So, here’s what I want in my life:

– community
– creativity
– love
– generosity
– etc.

Using my brainstorm above, I’ve created my daily action plan for the next… week? Starting small:

– Wake up before 10am.
– Meditate. 1 minute.
– Move my body, bare feet in the grass if I can. 1 minute.
– Empty the thought crap from my brain using 750 words, and focus wheel it. 1 minute.
– Find 5 positive aspects/pieces of evidence of something I want.
– Choose one of my desired feelings from the list above, and perform 1 small action that I think will create more of it in my life.
– Do something creative. 1 minute.
– Limit information input. Positive only.

xo

*I love my parents, with my whole heart and more. But, they’re parents. You feel me.

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