My perspective recently just shifted subtly and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Here it is:
I seriously don’t need anything other than my health, my ability to focus positively and my ability to give, in that order.
1. My body lets me be here, so I do need bodily health, shelter, safety, food and water. If something is off, it gets corrected pretty automatically. When you’re thirsty, not much else gets done before you find a glass of water, right?
2. Then, focus keeps my mind healthy and happy. Reaching desires is just a matter of lining up with them through focus, of dreaming and then focusing in such a way that allows me to trust that they will come–and they will, because God is in charge and wants to love me (also a chosen, focused thought). I just have to let Him do his thing and stop trying so hard to do it myself. I clearly don’t know what I’m doing.
3. Finally, once I am happy, Giving. Fulfillment. Action. Connection. Love. They tell you to set the goals you would regret NOT achieving. So I did, but I realized that the ones that were the most important to me in that category were actually unachievable. “Make sure my parents know that I love them.” How the heck am I supposed to know when I’ve achieved that? And what if they never DO find out? Have I failed? Is it even possible to EVER be ENOUGH in this scenario? The answer is no. Love is not a goal, it’s an action, a practice. I discovered that the root of what I wanted to accomplish here is to give. Now it’s so much easier to see that I am doing so well. As long as I am making it a practice to give, to create, to be generous, to love, to be kind, THEN I am achieving my goal.
… When we don’t NEED so much, all that is left is gratitude.
… When we don’t believe we are unable to experience what we want, all that is left is eagerness.
When we are grateful and eager, everything becomes fun–everything becomes something we WANT to do. Or at least we become much better at knowing when to say “Hell no.”
And so we delight in the next logical step. We no longer need to do BIG things–but we do happen to end up chipping away at them joyfully.
This is great news because I am really DONE with doing things I don’t want to do. And done with not wanting to do the things I am choosing to do tomorrow.
So, that’s it. A healthy body, good focus and generosity. I could be old, living in a shelter and being fed at a soup kitchen, but if I’ve got a healthy body, a well-trained noodle and an overflowing heart, I’ll have won at life.
I’m still working on it. But having only 3 goals makes it so much easier to figure out what I need to do in a day. Get my greens, write a gratefulness list and call my mom. Happy.