Tag Archives: Abraham-Hicks

Hi! Sadness strikes again.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt this shitty. Some sort of correlation between my writing and my emotions that I can’t quite put my finger on…

A few embarrassing social moments that my mind won’t let go of. Truthfully, though, I indulged really hardcore this time, spent the whole of yesterday crying and starving myself–because when I’m sad, I figure that eating can make me gain weight, and if that happens, I’ll get sadder. Do not do this. This is bad logic, and using it will be bad for you. Especially since being hungry tends to make me more depressed.

Played three songs on loop (Square One, How Long Will I Love You, and Swans and the Swimming–I have a history of looping this one for hours on end). Got up once to pee, and finally got up again to eat when my boyfriend said he’d take me out. Small glimmer.

Literally TWO things rocked my world, in a bad way. I was at a party my boyfriend had invited me to. 

1. An awkward conversation with one of my boyfriend’s friends. He was trying to be funny, I tried to be funny back, but it all fell flat as a pancake. He looked so uncomfortable. I thought he probably thought of me as hard to talk to, or unfunny, or something. I’m not entirely sure.

2. An awkward handshake with my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend (6-year relationship, intimidating or what?) where she introduced herself after she had been trying to get my attention. I guess I sort of realized she was waving at me, but I was also talking to someone, and I didn’t know how to split my attention. Then, after we quickly shook hands, I went back to talking to the person. My boyfriend said he saw her turn around with an “okay, I don’t really know what to do” face and leave the room. I got sad because I thought she probably saw me see her waving, and pegged me as rude for ignoring her. I also thought maybe I had cut the interaction short by going back to my original conversation after saying hi, and I imagined that she thought I was purposely trying to be bitchy and avoid her.

I want people to like me. I want to be friends with my boyfriend’s friends. I like them. I want more friends that I like, especially since most of my friends don’t live where I do.

I was looking forward to meeting his ex, because she seems cool and I want us to be friendly. She left the party shortly after our handshake, affording me no time to “redeem” myself.

I failed. His friends think I suck, and his ex thinks I’m the worst.

I created these stories, I’m aware, but they hurt, and way more than I understand why. Started catastrophizing, and spiralling. I looked at my upcoming schedule, and I wanted to do none of it. Hating everything, wanting to start fresh. Now that I think of it, in the past I have had trouble with the idea that I could have misrepresented myself in some way. I haven’t been able to stand the idea that people I really wanted to become friends with, or guys I’ve liked or dated, could think of me in a way that did not align with who I know I am at my core. Judgments. We all have to make judgments in order to make sense of our world, and I can’t blame anyone for it, so what am I doing, crying about it? Especially since I know they change as we accumulate more information?

I have to be at peace with this. I can’t control what people think. I can only control what I think, and what kind of experiences I attract. That is ALL me.

What can I do, me?

1. Focus on loving yourself more. I imagined that How Long Will I Love You was “mama universe” singing to me. I forget that the universe wants to help me, and that unconditional love exists. And FOR ME! I cried because this love made me realize how much I was abandoning myself in this moment of crisis. I was believing these judgements about me that I had MADE UP. I had forgotten that, even if I HAD done wrong here, I was loved.

2. Forgive. All it took was a reminder in some blog post or something that forgiveness is a thing. Use it on yourself, and the other.

3. Act on your highest excitement until you can go no further. Gotta take this more seriously.

4. Pray. Just ask for what you want. Ask the universe, ask those who love you. You don’t have to do it alone.

5. Be helpful. Learn, and then teach what you know. Have fun.

6. Allow. Allow what happens to happen. Desperately wanting something pushes it away. Wanting friends, wanting perfect social interactions, etc. It won’t come if you need it. Allow it to come, or not. Also, feelings are harmless. The thoughts causing them seem real and true, they always do! But they can change, you can create whatever you want. If you just breathe and allow the feelings to happen, they will subside, and newer, more peaceful thoughts will come to you. 

And maybe the most important one…

7. Love what you get. It’s really the only way to be happy.

I’m grateful for the tools I’ve been given to keep myself happy. These dips don’t last very long anymore. Allow, allow, allow.

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I took a plane and didn’t cry. What?

I’ve been working hard.

(The 3 glasses of wine probably didn’t hurt, though.)

It was an incredible exercise in learning to let go, AND it was actually the most fun I’ve had in a while! It’s so beautiful in the skyzies.

Now, in everyday life, letting go is proving to be much more difficult. Who would have guessed that anything could be more difficult to me than taking a plane? Not me or anyone I know!

So, I’m on vacation, visiting my parents. Paradox? Trying my best, people.*

I want to put some intentional structure into my days (beyond getting up, going to work, going to sleep), but it’s feeling an awful lot like trying to “control.” I used to revel in control, but now that I’m starting to understand what that kind of habit does to a girl’s sense of trust, it’s giving me a headache. I’m like (I am) a list-making addict, feeling both delight and shame in slipping back into old vices.

But, in fairness to myself, I’m doing this SO that I can let go. I know that I need some sort of structure, and I want to make sure that I can let go, while also setting myself up for success.

(A too-logical-to-argue-with way of saying I trust Lists more than the Universe? Ugh, probably.)

Here’s what I know I’ve got to be doing, with ideas underneath each number:

1. Be still. Breathe.
Meditation. Movement.
2. Witness, accept and untangle the present thoughts.
Morning pages. Focus wheels. Byron Katie.
3. Figure out what I want.
The opposite of what I don’t want (use the focus wheel). What I’ve been inspired to desire.
4. Search for what I want to see.
Gratitude. Find evidence NOW of what I WANT my life to be filled with.
5. Act.
From an inspired, positive place, take fun action. Do what I believe I need to do to feel the way I want to feel.
6. Be diligent with my vibration.
Declutter. Limit information input. Distract myself. Focus on the things I love. Affirmations. Stop the negative thoughts as they begin. Milk the good ones.

Alright. So, here’s what I want in my life:

– community
– creativity
– love
– generosity
– etc.

Using my brainstorm above, I’ve created my daily action plan for the next… week? Starting small:

– Wake up before 10am.
– Meditate. 1 minute.
– Move my body, bare feet in the grass if I can. 1 minute.
– Empty the thought crap from my brain using 750 words, and focus wheel it. 1 minute.
– Find 5 positive aspects/pieces of evidence of something I want.
– Choose one of my desired feelings from the list above, and perform 1 small action that I think will create more of it in my life.
– Do something creative. 1 minute.
– Limit information input. Positive only.

xo

*I love my parents, with my whole heart and more. But, they’re parents. You feel me.

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My new motivation station

I’ve been keeping a desktop post-it where I write all my “better-feeling thoughts,” which means that every time I have a thought that sucks, I try to think of a slightly better one and add it to my list. That way, I can read it over and over and brainwash myself to the next level.

I also add quotes or snippets I come across that make me feel warm ‘n’ fuzzy, also to read over again and again.

The tricky part is actually remembering to reread them.

Anyway, I’ve decided that instead of keeping them to myself, I’d put them on Twitter, in case anyone else can benefit from them. Stay tuned for new tweets!

loves xo.

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A formula for life, maybe?

I can’t shake my obsession with creating a formula for happiness using the law of attraction and other processes I have found useful, hoping it will simplify my life. Whether it’s doing that or complicating it, I can’t say.

 

Here are some guiding principles:

:: We know that we think, and then we attract more of what we feel, because of the actions we take when we feel. Circumstances–>Thoughts–>Feelings–>Actions–>Results.

:: We know that we must always do what feels good. 

:: We know that we must love the NOW, above all else, and be excited for the future.

:: Everything is done for, or to avoid, a feeling.

:: If something we want is attached to a negative feeling, we will repel it.

:: There is a point Z. To avoid overwhelm, we will not focus on that.

:: We must commit to the following process for it to work.

 

And here are the steps:

:: What do you not want?

:: What would be an upgrade (Point A)? What do you want?

:: Create a short painted picture for 6 months from now. Where are you in 6 months, ideally? Feel yourself there. Let it feel good.

:: Now, declutter your mind. What is stopping you from getting that? Why are you repelling it? What is stopping you from taking the steps that will get you there?

:: Why? Why? If you don’t know the answer, keep asking. If that doesn’t work, get someone else ask you. This is the moment to let yourself feel what you’ve been avoiding. Be brave, be willing. A feeling is fleeting. Bring awareness to it, and let it pass.

:: Where are the negative feelings in your body? Ask your body what it needs. Answer from its perspective, in the form of “I want you to know that…” Finish this sentence over and over for 30 seconds, non-stop.

:: Speak to your child self. Ask what it needs. If the child asks a question, answer the question as the child. Often there is release here, simply due to you acknowledging YOU.

:: Once you have the body’s or the child self’s thought, do a focus wheel. Find a slightly better-feeling thought, and then another.

:: Feel better. There should be less resistance to the painted picture (Point A). Re-list its major points.

:: Find the tiny, immediate actionable steps you can take to get there, which you can now take with less resistance and more joy.

:: Having decluttered and taken inspired action, be grateful and surround yourself with positivity in order to take more inspired action.

:: This should be a fun, clarifying exercise. Repeat when less-than-satisfying circumstances arise.

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30 Days to Me

I had a session last Friday with a theta healer.

Big step for me–I’d never really done anything like that before.

I’m interested in spirituality, so a friend of mine had invited me to take a theta healing certification course with her, and because I didn’t know what theta healing was, I researched it. I discovered that I could actually probably benefit from a session, so I signed up, with the desire to generally feel safer and less anxious about life.

He told me exactly what I needed to hear. I don’t understand everything that happened (yet), but he told me that the shift would take about 10 days to integrate–the 10th day being Monday the 13th–but I’m already experiencing some changes.

HUGE emotional release in the past few days, but now I’m feeling so much inspiration and excitement. Something really great is happening. He also suggested I look into Abraham-Hicks, which is where the whole Law of Attraction movement started.

Abraham mentions that in 30 days, you can completely clean up your vibration. If you really let go of all resistance that is keeping you from feeling happy during that time, you can have everything you’ve ever wanted.

I’m doing it.

So, basically, you are supposed to think/do the thing that feels good, in every circumstance.

Here’s what I know (and I’m writing this for my own benefit and clarity… if it seems weird, I’d suggest going the the Abraham-Hicks website and watching some videos!):

Everything I want is available to me right now. Everything that has ever pleased me, any fantasy I’ve ever had, or every opposite of what I have ever disliked is in my vortex. I don’t have to think about it, it’s there. All I have to do to experience it is let go of what is keeping me from sliding into it. What is keeping me from sliding into it? My resistance, my fear, my negative emotions. How do I let go of that? Let myself experience positive emotions, no matter what my situation is. Notice what is beautiful, what is good. Choose not to feel crappy. Stop feeling bad for ONE SIMPLE REASON: it feels bad. Reach for whatever better thought is available to me. All goodness comes from feeling good (A.K.A. being myself), and nothing good comes from feeling bad. And there is nothing more important than feeling good.

If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know how important your thoughts are–you can either pull yourself out of one with thoughts of safety, of love, of power, or you can be sucked into one with thoughts of danger, death, and helplessness. I truly believe my tendencies towards anxiety have been a blessing, because I am now keenly aware of how powerfully my thoughts influence my feelings. And, you attract what you feel.

I’ve pulled myself out of fear many times in the past few days. I have proven to myself that I am capable of feeling ecstasy within seconds of noticing the beginning of a panic attack. So, I am capable of way more than that, too. I have no doubt.

I’m experiencing way more joy and I haven’t been able to stop taking notes, an indication that I need to start writing again. But, here’s my first roadblock:

What feels good and downstream/easy is starting a new, fresh blog. So there I was, about to start one, when I remembered this current blog.

Why don’t I just write here? It’s already set up, and after being featured on Freshly Pressed, I know that there are many of you here, lovely & growth-oriented, who read my posts. That feels easy, too.

Well, one thing that keeps me from feeling good about writing here is that many of my older posts do not reflect who I am now.

So, true to the process, I will let that go of that thought by reaching for better ones:

:: My present reality reflects who I am now, not who I used to be.
:: By writing here, I can express myself right NOW, without having to spend time setting up another website.
:: People know about this website and can actually read what I write. I will feel connected, and I might even inspire others to also believe in a better life.

Writing here is feeling even more downstream now.

So, here we go.

Every day I have been spending time getting really excited, happy, powerful. I think about whatever gives me butterflies, no matter what that is.

Today’s seeds of happiness:

:: Everything I love in my life has been my doing!
:: I brought my wonderful friends into my life.
:: I brought my wonderful, inspiring, business-minded friends into my life.
:: I want a baby by 30 years old.
:: I want to make a $100,000 salary by 27 years old.
:: I want to meet my life partner at 29 years old.
:: I want to spend the years leading up to that falling in love with myself, with life, and with my life’s work.
:: Make peace with where you are. It’s all right.
:: Source is orchestrating everything. It knows where everything you want is, and it’s bringing it to you. You just have to let it in.
:: I can ask for the world, for a million things, and it is all available to me. I don’t have to focus on bringing these things to myself. All I have to do is find ONE excuse to have fun, stay happy & relaxed, and give it my undivided attention.
:: I don’t have to justify what I love.
:: In any moment, there is something I can think to make this experience better. What is it?
:: I love being the creator of my experience.
:: I see evidence of my creations everywhere.
:: I love waking up in this double bed that I’ve created, because at one point I dreamed of sleeping in a double bed.
:: I love having this safe, comfortable room, with this adorable wallpaper that I’ve created.
:: I don’t have to feel unhappiness on the way to more happiness.
:: I love fun.
:: I love laughter.
:: I love wit.
:: I want to be in the right place at the right time.
:: I only have to hold myself in a general place of well-being, and more goodness will join it. I don’t have to get specific with what I want.
:: I love listening to music blasting in the middle of the afternoon.
:: I love that I knew the validity of this technique from the depth of my soul, before even learning about it (see “Things I Love” page).
:: You can only help others help themselves, and being my best self is the only way to do this.
:: I must be connected to God and to myself, to the unlimited well of well-being, if I wish to give anything away to others.
:: Feeling guilty for loving myself serves no one.
:: My fear does not serve me.
:: My truth is happiness.

I began learning about this perspective (Abraham-Hicks) on August 4th, so my 30th day will be on September 2nd.

Let’s see what happens!

xo

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