Tag Archives: Anxiety

A simple way to get moving + get happy.

1. Be still. What’s the problem, girl?

Stillness is something I struggle with EVERY day, especially when I’m anxious. In fact, I sort of think writing this blog post is just another distraction from my feelings and I kind of feel like a huge hypocrite, but I’ll address that later on my own.

Either something’s up, or nothing’s up. If nothing’s up, congratulations. Keep feeling grateful and truckin’ on. If something’s up, congratulations too–you’re about to make some major progress. Move on to the next step.

2. What do you want instead?

Maybe you won’t know yet. That’s okay. Don’t force it, it will come eventually. If you do know, what is it?

3. What can you do to get it?

Brainstorm. Take this seriously and focus. Come up with as many ideas as you can. If you find one that feels shiny or magical or helpful, do it. If negative emotion remains afterwards, continue.

4. Do a focus wheel.

This can be done on paper. First, you write a statement about where you are/how you feel. In your mind’s eye, you keep the opposite, positive thought active. Then, you start writing things that support that positive thought and that you BELIEVE (this is essential). This gets quite fun. I might post some personal focus wheels later, but in the meantime, just click on the link above.

If writing isn’t your thing or you just don’t feel like doing the written version, you can also simply intend that today, you will notice evidence that the thing that you want is already in your life.

5. Focus on high vibe stuff.

Focus on the new affirmations that you’ve created with your focus wheel. Go on an information diet. Consciously withdraw your attention from negativity. Declutter. When you give your attention to something, more similar things present themselves to you. Be aware of this and focus on positivity.

6. Once you feel great, take action.

Now is the time to take action, because 1. it will be fun and inspired, and 2. it will create tangible evidence in your life that will make it easier to believe what you want to believe.

Here is an example:

1. How am I feeling? I’m feeling anxious.

2. What do I want instead? I want to feel safe.

3. How can I feel safe? I can open my playlist of relaxing songs. I can call my mom. I can call a friend. I can lock my door. I can turn on the light. I can watch a movie. I can curl up in bed under some blankets. I can open the door so I hear sounds from outside. I can go to a coffee shop and be around other people.

4. Do a focus wheel for “I am safe,” starting from “I am scared.” Then, notice how safe I am throughout the day.

5. Give my attention to anything and everything that is positive. My focus wheel has provided me with some new affirmations that I can focus on, such as “I do have a few good friends who care about me” or “Nothing has ever happened in my life that was not exactly what I needed.”

6. Once I’m in a better feeling place, I might be inspired to pick up my guitar, or do some groceries, or clean my room, or organize a camping trip with some friends. It could really be anything, and it doesn’t matter what. But in all cases, no matter how subtle, the outcome will be a memory or a thought (or even something physical like a picture from said camping trip) that will make it easier to feel safe and supported from now on.

Like I said, I still struggle with the first step, but I know this method works. It helps me feel like I have a game plan, like I’m building momentum. I’m still working on making this process as fun as possible, because I tend to not do focus wheels if I don’t think they’ll be fun. BUT I did do one the other day for feeling “loved, supported and trusting of the Universe” that was amazingly fun. I recommend!

xo

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My emergency toolkit for anxiety. This, too, shall pass.

The goal here is to get out of your mind when your thoughts are racing. Try these:

:: Get on the floor. Do a plank for as long as you can.

:: Do some relaxing yoga, or some intense yoga.

:: Run or exercise for as long as you need to. I’ve stayed out running/walking for 3 hours before.

:: Play a game. Disney trivia?

:: Check things off your to-do list. Just get stuff done.

:: Do before you think.

:: Listen to this. Here’s why. (In a nutshell, scientists are involved, it’s meant to slow your heart rate and induce sleep. I listened to this NONSTOP during my most recent–and worst–anxiety spell, and credit a lot of my recovery to it.)

:: Or this. Cry a bit.

:: Or THIS.

:: Write! Journal!

:: Scream. Hey, don’t knock it. It works. Use a pillow if you don’t want to freak people out.

:: Call a crisis line if you even think you might need to.

:: Slow your breathing.

:: Do some deep belly breathing or breath of fire, which is the breathing shown in this video. Also, do that meditation, it’s great.

:: Meditate. Watch your thoughts. That’s all they are.

:: This one I got from a therapist, and it isn’t that bad. Name 5 things you can see, then 5 you can feel, then 5 you can hear. Describe. Repeat.

:: Find sunshine. Bask in it.

:: Clean something.

:: Create a small, actionable goal and achieve it. Or do something for which focus is absolutely necessary, and then give yourself a treat.

:: Swear.

:: Watch intensely as the seconds go by on a clock. Count slowly. Try to sync your breathing to your counting.

:: Watch some comedy.

:: Watch Harry Potter.

:: Find some puppies and cuddle. Or just Youtube them.

:: If you like to drive, drive somewhere. Anywhere. Preferably somewhere new. Play some music. Chase a sunset.

:: Drink lots of water.

:: Ask your angels for support. Release your burdens to them. They want to help.

:: Postpone your worry. Designate time for worrying, and time for relaxation. Create strict timeframes. That way, you can rest assured that if something needs worrying about, you’ll get to it.

:: See a therapist.

:: Read and learn about relaxation and thought control.

:: Do something that scares you a little bit (but would be good for you), like an open mic, for example. The adrenaline will get you RIGHT out of your current cycle. Sometimes even just thinking about realistically doing this is enough to break the pattern.

:: Cry it out. All of it. Watch some sad movies, if that helps.

:: Give yourself somewhere to go, something to do or collaborate on, and someone to report back to.

:: Paint.

:: Play guitar, or other instrument.

:: Climb a mountain.

:: Watch children be children. Or sing. (This is another one I’m so thankful to have found. The song is about 3/4 way through.)

:: Read this.

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Thinking makes it worse

Is there something you’ve been dreading, or incessantly complaining about?

Yeah, it’s hard not to, when you hate it so much.

But I’ve noticed over and over that when I’m actually in the midst of doing that awful thing, it’s not actually that bad…

The stressing over the doctor’s appointment, the badmouthing the friend, the complaining about the job, that’s all way worse than the thing itself.

Like Eckhart Tolle says, and I’ll paraphrase because I can’t remember the actual quote: Forget the past and the future whenever they are not necessary.

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Feeling feelings. Who’d’a thunk?

I woke up today with overwhelming heartsickness incredibly reminiscent of mornings back in 2003. In high school, I always had a crush on someone, but never the nerve to tell any of them. Typical, I suppose.

One of those precious objects of my affection later became a good friend… and later stopped speaking to me cold turkey for a reason that continues to elude me. And I dreamt of him last night.

I don’t know, I guess it’s fine. I tell myself that sometimes people need life upgrades and occasionally it means shedding friendships that aren’t working for them anymore. I’ve done it myself, and I’m okay with it. Except that, despite knowing better, it vaguely leaves me feeling like I’m the place from which, and not TO which, people upgrade. Also, I miss him. I don’t usually notice, but today I have the emotional field of a 14-year-old, and I do.

I’m doing my life coaching certification course right now, and I’ve also been studying a lot of spiritual stuff. I know that any sadness or fear I feel is the result of a mind construct and does not actually reflect anything “bad” happening outside of me. And that awareness is good.

But I think I’ve been coaching myself too harshly. I feel the awfulness and I immediately get to work finding better feeling thoughts. It works, but only temporarily; it doesn’t take long before I find myself crashing back down to where I started. I’ve been afraid of my fear and depression, and by running away I reinforce the idea that something in those depths is true, that something there can destroy me… and it can’t.

The holidays have been tough for me, as they are for so many others. I have the intellectual awareness that there is much to appreciate, but sometimes my feelings don’t come along for that ride. So, along with daily yoga and meditation, I’ve been experimenting with feeling my dark feelings, even if it means retreating to my room and crying for a few minutes to release them.

I know. This can be difficult to do while, say, the family is opening presents or having dinner. You don’t want to be noticed, you don’t want to be consoled.

During the holidays, the good cheer either lassos you right into it, or makes you hyper aware of how far you are from happiness. The world polarizes at this time of year.

The truth is, though, we never are that far from happiness. It really is a choice, and even though that can seem heavy and unfair, I accept the challenge. Today is a great illustration of the effect of focus: I focused on someone who isn’t normally part of my thoughts, and here I am feeling like a teenager again.

Though I’m still not sure what I will find by steeping in it, I really feel like my work now is to stop being afraid of sadness, to stop trying to move out of it prematurely. To feel it, honour it, release it, and then to have a piece of chocolate cake.

Merry Christmas, friends. xox

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Create Sacred Space Around Every Moment

When I’m getting anxious about something I have to do (and should do, like, probably NOW), but I don’t want to do it… I just get real with myself that I’m not going to.

Let’s say it’s 2:15pm and I’ve got to weed the garden, but I’m really comfortable and I don’t want to move. My thoughts go wild, I make excuses, and I resent whomever I decide to blame that day.

Weeellll… I’m starting to get into the habit of telling myself: “It’s okay. Take the next 5 minutes to just lay here. Don’t worry about anything. Just sit still, let yourself fall into oblivion. Don’t feel guilty about anything–it’ll be over sooner than you think. No one is going to wonder where you are or what you’re doing. You’re safe right now. In 5 minutes, see how you feel, and make another decision then.”

Feel the quiet of those 5 minutes. How much you can actually savour each second if you try. How slowly a minute goes by, and how healing it can be when it is yours, and yours only.

It’s also helpful to pinpoint who you are trying to please in forcing yourself to take action. Are you doing it for yourself or for someone else? If it’s for someone else, are you attaching any of your (inherent) worthiness to the task’s completion? Bad, bad. Don’t do that! If it’s for yourself, are you riding yourself too hard? Is your intuition trying to steer you in a different direction? Or do you just need to watch an episode of The New Girl (love) and you’ll be good to go?

We spend so much of our time worrying about and dreading what we have to do that it just ends up wasted. You get nothing done, and you feel like crap.

I say:

It’s okay to procrastinate, but at least let yourself rejuvenate during that time. When you’re ready, take a moment to clarify your motives and, if needed, alter your direction.

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How to Climb Out of Anxiety

On Friday, I resolved to stay in my happy place at work for no other reason other than to experience happiness. I was skipping around, humming to myself, talking to myself and being a dork while cleaning tables. Then it hit me that now would be the perfect time to ask something of the universe. I thought about it, and found that I had two desires in that moment that I’d written off subconsciously. (Time to quit that habit.)

Want #1: I’m allowed a meal during my shifts, but since I don’t work too often and I don’t get overly hungry, I don’t usually ask for one. Sometimes I’m extended an offer, and in those cases I accept. That day, I was REALLY craving a vegetarian quesadilla, but didn’t feel like asking for it since it’s kind of expensive and not even technically on the menu. Normally, I’d either forget about it, force myself to ask even though I felt weird about it, or berate myself for not letting myself claim what I was, after all, initially offered when I took the job.

Then I thought: what if I just took a bit of time to refine my request to one that feels good? Since I couldn’t figure out exactly what situation would make me happy, I asked the universe for simply feeling good about accepting a meal that I’m really craving, knowing that the cook is making it from a place of joy. Not something I’d normally think of asking for, but I did it. I just put it out there, gently but clearly, knowing that I’d just shown the universe that I’m now receptive to that. And I carried on humming and skipping about.

Guess what happened? The cook offered me a meal! And when I hesitated about what I wanted (didn’t want to scare her with my eagerness), she offered me a vegetarian quesadilla, with a SMILE.

WHAT!!?

Want #2: I usually finish late on Fridays, so between 9:30 and 10pm. On this particular night, I had an online class starting at 9pm. Even though I knew I’d love not to miss it, I just figured I’d be late, so I had no other expectation. But then, I thought to ask the universe: I’d love to make it on time for my course.

Guess what happened? The evening was super busy but people stopped coming in at 7:30pm. That gave me an opportunity to vacuum, and do whatever I usually do at the end of the night. I started getting butterflies. Is this for real? No, it can’t be. Someone’s going to walk in. Wait, maybe not! No, surely someone’s going to walk in.

And, true to my expectations, someone walked in. BUT! The cook let me go early, telling me that she could handle this last table.

I was on my computer at 9pm sharp, I shit you not.

WHAT!!?

It may seem insignificant, but it was VERY significant to me, because I KNEW that I created it. And all it took was a clear request.

I came home SUPER excited at having asked and received so effortlessly, by simply staying in a good mood despite unexciting circumstances. I told the story emphatically to my roommate, who told me she could feel my aura and it was huge. Usually my field is pretty small and porous, but at that moment I felt amazing.

I didn’t have to do ANYTHING to get what I wanted.

Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. It can be hard to stay joyful when there doesn’t seem much to be joyful about, and even harder to shift from what seems to be a downward spiral of panic back into a balanced state.

Though I know I’m capable of it and I’ve done it before, my challenge these past few days has been getting myself from panic to calmness. I’m starting to get familiar with where my bottom is and how to climb up from it. I’m starting to know which thoughts are a little better than the ones that are a little worse; even if they’re not the best, in that moment, “better” is enough. My bottom is slowly raising, and I’m beginning to feel like I can handle any situation.

One way I do this is by writing down the thoughts I have in the moment which help me climb out (I’m a compulsive notetaker), so in the end, I have a list to refer to and reread (and share!). The following is kind of a mixed bag of thoughts that have been helping me, in varyious situations, over the past couple days:

:: I’ve finally hit the limit of what I need to exploe spiritually to understand my physical world. Yay!
:: I’m good now.
:: I’m plateauing.
:: I’ve got it, I love myself.
:: Anxiety is not a problem.
:: Everything is energy. I don’t have to be afraid of what I see, because if I were blind I would not see it. What is important is what I feel, and I can control that, in any situation.
:: Breathe.
:: Release.
:: I release what isn’t mine.
:: I fall asleep & wake up with a blank mind, and it feels awesome. Not scary.
:: My overall vibration is my set point. My fleeting feeling is not as influential as I think. I feel good most of the time. I’m ok. My point of attraction is the relationship between where I am now and who I am at my core. If I stop beating the drum of my problems, I will become closer to bliss. I’m getting closer.
:: Be a healing presence.
:: There is so much natural wellness in the world and universe. I don’t have to think about my blood pumping for it to pump or the sun to stay in the sky. Goodness is the most powerful thing in the universe.
:: People reflect back to me what I feel, not who I am.
:: People can’t align me; they can only confirm my alignment.
:: These concepts are related to every major religion, what anyone knows about the universe. Why not believe? Why not believe in natural goodness? Who am I to deny it?
:: No matter what the path was, no one ever regrets.
:: Things are always working out for me.
:: There is never a reason to be guarded. Every situation is an opportunity to expand.
:: Silence is beautiful.
:: Sometimes I just know that love exists and prevails. Often I know this.
:: Love the process.
:: Every step I take in good faith is a meaningful utilization of my life.
:: Nothing can surprise me.
:: Just be comfortable in my stupidity.
:: A bug, or something undesirable, is simply a fellow universe dweller that I am not obliged to interact with, that I do not have to give my energy, attention, or irritation. Appreciate it as something that enables me to expand.
:: I love spaces with great energy flow and openness. It’s just about flow.
:: Always ask: How would the person I want to become behave in THIS situation–my present one?
:: Walk away with no backlash.
:: When I’m in the flow, all I want to do is create.
:: I can get out of the badness, it just takes a while and wastes time I could be using to feel awesome and create.
:: Just because I wonder about something doesn’t mean it has to happen to me for me to understand it or move past it.
:: Rain is cleansing.
:: I would love to try voice acting.
:: I would love to lead a wacky dance class.
:: I want to listen to more music, play more music joyfully, and dance more.
:: I want to create what my soul wants to express, whenever it wants to express it, contribute value to people and have more money flow to me than I even want to spend.
:: I love Hilary Duff & her light, and I don’t care why.
:: I am so thankful for the safety and comfort that Disney cartoons give me.

So…

I’d love to know…

1. How do you center yourself when you feel insane?
2. What kind words do you have for yourself? How are you AMAZING!?
3. What do you dream of?

Hit me up in the replies!

xo

(P.S. Parts of the list above were taken almost verbatim from Abraham-Hicks recordings. Check ’em out.)

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30 Days to Me

I had a session last Friday with a theta healer.

Big step for me–I’d never really done anything like that before.

I’m interested in spirituality, so a friend of mine had invited me to take a theta healing certification course with her, and because I didn’t know what theta healing was, I researched it. I discovered that I could actually probably benefit from a session, so I signed up, with the desire to generally feel safer and less anxious about life.

He told me exactly what I needed to hear. I don’t understand everything that happened (yet), but he told me that the shift would take about 10 days to integrate–the 10th day being Monday the 13th–but I’m already experiencing some changes.

HUGE emotional release in the past few days, but now I’m feeling so much inspiration and excitement. Something really great is happening. He also suggested I look into Abraham-Hicks, which is where the whole Law of Attraction movement started.

Abraham mentions that in 30 days, you can completely clean up your vibration. If you really let go of all resistance that is keeping you from feeling happy during that time, you can have everything you’ve ever wanted.

I’m doing it.

So, basically, you are supposed to think/do the thing that feels good, in every circumstance.

Here’s what I know (and I’m writing this for my own benefit and clarity… if it seems weird, I’d suggest going the the Abraham-Hicks website and watching some videos!):

Everything I want is available to me right now. Everything that has ever pleased me, any fantasy I’ve ever had, or every opposite of what I have ever disliked is in my vortex. I don’t have to think about it, it’s there. All I have to do to experience it is let go of what is keeping me from sliding into it. What is keeping me from sliding into it? My resistance, my fear, my negative emotions. How do I let go of that? Let myself experience positive emotions, no matter what my situation is. Notice what is beautiful, what is good. Choose not to feel crappy. Stop feeling bad for ONE SIMPLE REASON: it feels bad. Reach for whatever better thought is available to me. All goodness comes from feeling good (A.K.A. being myself), and nothing good comes from feeling bad. And there is nothing more important than feeling good.

If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know how important your thoughts are–you can either pull yourself out of one with thoughts of safety, of love, of power, or you can be sucked into one with thoughts of danger, death, and helplessness. I truly believe my tendencies towards anxiety have been a blessing, because I am now keenly aware of how powerfully my thoughts influence my feelings. And, you attract what you feel.

I’ve pulled myself out of fear many times in the past few days. I have proven to myself that I am capable of feeling ecstasy within seconds of noticing the beginning of a panic attack. So, I am capable of way more than that, too. I have no doubt.

I’m experiencing way more joy and I haven’t been able to stop taking notes, an indication that I need to start writing again. But, here’s my first roadblock:

What feels good and downstream/easy is starting a new, fresh blog. So there I was, about to start one, when I remembered this current blog.

Why don’t I just write here? It’s already set up, and after being featured on Freshly Pressed, I know that there are many of you here, lovely & growth-oriented, who read my posts. That feels easy, too.

Well, one thing that keeps me from feeling good about writing here is that many of my older posts do not reflect who I am now.

So, true to the process, I will let that go of that thought by reaching for better ones:

:: My present reality reflects who I am now, not who I used to be.
:: By writing here, I can express myself right NOW, without having to spend time setting up another website.
:: People know about this website and can actually read what I write. I will feel connected, and I might even inspire others to also believe in a better life.

Writing here is feeling even more downstream now.

So, here we go.

Every day I have been spending time getting really excited, happy, powerful. I think about whatever gives me butterflies, no matter what that is.

Today’s seeds of happiness:

:: Everything I love in my life has been my doing!
:: I brought my wonderful friends into my life.
:: I brought my wonderful, inspiring, business-minded friends into my life.
:: I want a baby by 30 years old.
:: I want to make a $100,000 salary by 27 years old.
:: I want to meet my life partner at 29 years old.
:: I want to spend the years leading up to that falling in love with myself, with life, and with my life’s work.
:: Make peace with where you are. It’s all right.
:: Source is orchestrating everything. It knows where everything you want is, and it’s bringing it to you. You just have to let it in.
:: I can ask for the world, for a million things, and it is all available to me. I don’t have to focus on bringing these things to myself. All I have to do is find ONE excuse to have fun, stay happy & relaxed, and give it my undivided attention.
:: I don’t have to justify what I love.
:: In any moment, there is something I can think to make this experience better. What is it?
:: I love being the creator of my experience.
:: I see evidence of my creations everywhere.
:: I love waking up in this double bed that I’ve created, because at one point I dreamed of sleeping in a double bed.
:: I love having this safe, comfortable room, with this adorable wallpaper that I’ve created.
:: I don’t have to feel unhappiness on the way to more happiness.
:: I love fun.
:: I love laughter.
:: I love wit.
:: I want to be in the right place at the right time.
:: I only have to hold myself in a general place of well-being, and more goodness will join it. I don’t have to get specific with what I want.
:: I love listening to music blasting in the middle of the afternoon.
:: I love that I knew the validity of this technique from the depth of my soul, before even learning about it (see “Things I Love” page).
:: You can only help others help themselves, and being my best self is the only way to do this.
:: I must be connected to God and to myself, to the unlimited well of well-being, if I wish to give anything away to others.
:: Feeling guilty for loving myself serves no one.
:: My fear does not serve me.
:: My truth is happiness.

I began learning about this perspective (Abraham-Hicks) on August 4th, so my 30th day will be on September 2nd.

Let’s see what happens!

xo

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