Tag Archives: Dreams

A formula for life, maybe?

I can’t shake my obsession with creating a formula for happiness using the law of attraction and other processes I have found useful, hoping it will simplify my life. Whether it’s doing that or complicating it, I can’t say.

 

Here are some guiding principles:

:: We know that we think, and then we attract more of what we feel, because of the actions we take when we feel. Circumstances–>Thoughts–>Feelings–>Actions–>Results.

:: We know that we must always do what feels good. 

:: We know that we must love the NOW, above all else, and be excited for the future.

:: Everything is done for, or to avoid, a feeling.

:: If something we want is attached to a negative feeling, we will repel it.

:: There is a point Z. To avoid overwhelm, we will not focus on that.

:: We must commit to the following process for it to work.

 

And here are the steps:

:: What do you not want?

:: What would be an upgrade (Point A)? What do you want?

:: Create a short painted picture for 6 months from now. Where are you in 6 months, ideally? Feel yourself there. Let it feel good.

:: Now, declutter your mind. What is stopping you from getting that? Why are you repelling it? What is stopping you from taking the steps that will get you there?

:: Why? Why? If you don’t know the answer, keep asking. If that doesn’t work, get someone else ask you. This is the moment to let yourself feel what you’ve been avoiding. Be brave, be willing. A feeling is fleeting. Bring awareness to it, and let it pass.

:: Where are the negative feelings in your body? Ask your body what it needs. Answer from its perspective, in the form of “I want you to know that…” Finish this sentence over and over for 30 seconds, non-stop.

:: Speak to your child self. Ask what it needs. If the child asks a question, answer the question as the child. Often there is release here, simply due to you acknowledging YOU.

:: Once you have the body’s or the child self’s thought, do a focus wheel. Find a slightly better-feeling thought, and then another.

:: Feel better. There should be less resistance to the painted picture (Point A). Re-list its major points.

:: Find the tiny, immediate actionable steps you can take to get there, which you can now take with less resistance and more joy.

:: Having decluttered and taken inspired action, be grateful and surround yourself with positivity in order to take more inspired action.

:: This should be a fun, clarifying exercise. Repeat when less-than-satisfying circumstances arise.

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You don’t want big change… you want the next step.

I spend a lot of my free time daydreaming about my ideal life and all the things I want in the future. And then I get back to work, and I daydream about being able to lay in bed and daydream. When I noticed I was actually looking forward to daydreaming more than I was looking forward to my life, I knew something weird was up.

There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to something if it makes you feel good. But I realized that if I wanted to do something about this cycle, I would have to start looking forward to something that involved action.

Why don’t I want to take action?

Because I’m expecting WAY too much of myself all at once. The truth is, I don’t want everything to change all at once, because it would either require way more effort than would be comfortable (slash healthy), or a stroke of amazing luck (and where’s the fun in that?). And what’s more, is I’m not even sure what I want, really, aside from a vague big picture.

All those little tasks, all those “next steps” that I’ve been ignoring–that’s where the magic is. That’s what I can manage, and anyway, that’s what builds the momentum for the change I’m seeking.

Even if I set my mind to accomplish some big shift and get started, what I want changes as I go. So, I might as well get used to confusion, as well as enjoy the process–and that’s a right now issue. How can I enjoy myself right now?

Right now, being productive feels good, and that means writing a song and having a shower.

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Minimalism = Happiness

Ask only for what you need

&

Use everything you receive

 

You decide what

and how much

you need,

and you find clues

in every dream.

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How to Climb Out of Anxiety

On Friday, I resolved to stay in my happy place at work for no other reason other than to experience happiness. I was skipping around, humming to myself, talking to myself and being a dork while cleaning tables. Then it hit me that now would be the perfect time to ask something of the universe. I thought about it, and found that I had two desires in that moment that I’d written off subconsciously. (Time to quit that habit.)

Want #1: I’m allowed a meal during my shifts, but since I don’t work too often and I don’t get overly hungry, I don’t usually ask for one. Sometimes I’m extended an offer, and in those cases I accept. That day, I was REALLY craving a vegetarian quesadilla, but didn’t feel like asking for it since it’s kind of expensive and not even technically on the menu. Normally, I’d either forget about it, force myself to ask even though I felt weird about it, or berate myself for not letting myself claim what I was, after all, initially offered when I took the job.

Then I thought: what if I just took a bit of time to refine my request to one that feels good? Since I couldn’t figure out exactly what situation would make me happy, I asked the universe for simply feeling good about accepting a meal that I’m really craving, knowing that the cook is making it from a place of joy. Not something I’d normally think of asking for, but I did it. I just put it out there, gently but clearly, knowing that I’d just shown the universe that I’m now receptive to that. And I carried on humming and skipping about.

Guess what happened? The cook offered me a meal! And when I hesitated about what I wanted (didn’t want to scare her with my eagerness), she offered me a vegetarian quesadilla, with a SMILE.

WHAT!!?

Want #2: I usually finish late on Fridays, so between 9:30 and 10pm. On this particular night, I had an online class starting at 9pm. Even though I knew I’d love not to miss it, I just figured I’d be late, so I had no other expectation. But then, I thought to ask the universe: I’d love to make it on time for my course.

Guess what happened? The evening was super busy but people stopped coming in at 7:30pm. That gave me an opportunity to vacuum, and do whatever I usually do at the end of the night. I started getting butterflies. Is this for real? No, it can’t be. Someone’s going to walk in. Wait, maybe not! No, surely someone’s going to walk in.

And, true to my expectations, someone walked in. BUT! The cook let me go early, telling me that she could handle this last table.

I was on my computer at 9pm sharp, I shit you not.

WHAT!!?

It may seem insignificant, but it was VERY significant to me, because I KNEW that I created it. And all it took was a clear request.

I came home SUPER excited at having asked and received so effortlessly, by simply staying in a good mood despite unexciting circumstances. I told the story emphatically to my roommate, who told me she could feel my aura and it was huge. Usually my field is pretty small and porous, but at that moment I felt amazing.

I didn’t have to do ANYTHING to get what I wanted.

Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. It can be hard to stay joyful when there doesn’t seem much to be joyful about, and even harder to shift from what seems to be a downward spiral of panic back into a balanced state.

Though I know I’m capable of it and I’ve done it before, my challenge these past few days has been getting myself from panic to calmness. I’m starting to get familiar with where my bottom is and how to climb up from it. I’m starting to know which thoughts are a little better than the ones that are a little worse; even if they’re not the best, in that moment, “better” is enough. My bottom is slowly raising, and I’m beginning to feel like I can handle any situation.

One way I do this is by writing down the thoughts I have in the moment which help me climb out (I’m a compulsive notetaker), so in the end, I have a list to refer to and reread (and share!). The following is kind of a mixed bag of thoughts that have been helping me, in varyious situations, over the past couple days:

:: I’ve finally hit the limit of what I need to exploe spiritually to understand my physical world. Yay!
:: I’m good now.
:: I’m plateauing.
:: I’ve got it, I love myself.
:: Anxiety is not a problem.
:: Everything is energy. I don’t have to be afraid of what I see, because if I were blind I would not see it. What is important is what I feel, and I can control that, in any situation.
:: Breathe.
:: Release.
:: I release what isn’t mine.
:: I fall asleep & wake up with a blank mind, and it feels awesome. Not scary.
:: My overall vibration is my set point. My fleeting feeling is not as influential as I think. I feel good most of the time. I’m ok. My point of attraction is the relationship between where I am now and who I am at my core. If I stop beating the drum of my problems, I will become closer to bliss. I’m getting closer.
:: Be a healing presence.
:: There is so much natural wellness in the world and universe. I don’t have to think about my blood pumping for it to pump or the sun to stay in the sky. Goodness is the most powerful thing in the universe.
:: People reflect back to me what I feel, not who I am.
:: People can’t align me; they can only confirm my alignment.
:: These concepts are related to every major religion, what anyone knows about the universe. Why not believe? Why not believe in natural goodness? Who am I to deny it?
:: No matter what the path was, no one ever regrets.
:: Things are always working out for me.
:: There is never a reason to be guarded. Every situation is an opportunity to expand.
:: Silence is beautiful.
:: Sometimes I just know that love exists and prevails. Often I know this.
:: Love the process.
:: Every step I take in good faith is a meaningful utilization of my life.
:: Nothing can surprise me.
:: Just be comfortable in my stupidity.
:: A bug, or something undesirable, is simply a fellow universe dweller that I am not obliged to interact with, that I do not have to give my energy, attention, or irritation. Appreciate it as something that enables me to expand.
:: I love spaces with great energy flow and openness. It’s just about flow.
:: Always ask: How would the person I want to become behave in THIS situation–my present one?
:: Walk away with no backlash.
:: When I’m in the flow, all I want to do is create.
:: I can get out of the badness, it just takes a while and wastes time I could be using to feel awesome and create.
:: Just because I wonder about something doesn’t mean it has to happen to me for me to understand it or move past it.
:: Rain is cleansing.
:: I would love to try voice acting.
:: I would love to lead a wacky dance class.
:: I want to listen to more music, play more music joyfully, and dance more.
:: I want to create what my soul wants to express, whenever it wants to express it, contribute value to people and have more money flow to me than I even want to spend.
:: I love Hilary Duff & her light, and I don’t care why.
:: I am so thankful for the safety and comfort that Disney cartoons give me.

So…

I’d love to know…

1. How do you center yourself when you feel insane?
2. What kind words do you have for yourself? How are you AMAZING!?
3. What do you dream of?

Hit me up in the replies!

xo

(P.S. Parts of the list above were taken almost verbatim from Abraham-Hicks recordings. Check ’em out.)

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What Do You Want Most?

I’m curious.

What kind of guidance are you craving?

Where do you feel the most confused?

What kind of resources do you wish you had on-hand?

What do you wish you had more time for?

Which of your habits are really getting in the way of your happiness?

Which relationships in your life do you wish were healthier?

What do you find yourself reading about most often?

What part of your life is lagging behind?

What is holding you back?

What is your biggest dream?

I write this blog because it is therapeutic for me, but also because it makes me happy to know that I’m connecting with you and writing what you want to read.

Personally, at the moment I wish I had better career guidance. I am actually enlisting the help of a career coach, so maybe that will change things. My eating and exercising habits are really getting in the way of my happiness, especially since I sprained my ankle and have been semi-forced into a sedentary lifestyle. My biggest dream is to run my own business, within which I could use my talents to serve where I would be most useful.

Leave your comments below!

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Beautiful poem about following your heart and the consequences of weakness in the face of adversity.

ocaroline

The water makes peace with you tonight,
and sailing below the eager starlight,
you can check your compass
and your maps with care.

Your finger can tap
this point and that,
and slide against a winding river,
but it’s your heart that must choose the path
with a rhythm it can follow
and you sigh,
for tonight,
the rhythm won’t be found.

With shameful blood
and quivering breath
you force your compass closed
and your wide-eyed thoughts
to rest.

Now out your open mouth
climbs Uncertainty
(who seldom sleeps)
to take the wheel
and he steers toward the land,
your destination forgot.

Hungry hands swarm to pull you in.
Dozens of glowing, slender bodies,
nightmares in white nightgowns,
agitated and elegant
whispering hexes disguised under a melody.

The ocean’s lips roll open
and fall shut at the poison shore,
hesitating to speak,
trying to argue a lost case.
You wake…

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Cross Off a Dream

In following with yesterday’s post, I’d like to keep talking about lists; but, this time I want to talk about the stuff you haven’t forgotten about–the stuff you can’t forget about.

So, you think you’d like to take a photography class. You put it on the list. You throw away the list, but you still wake up feeling an inclination to Google search “photography classes in my area.” You have a shower instead and forget about it. While making breakfast, you remember what you had wanted to do when you woke up, but now you’re late for work so it’ll have to wait. It’s not important anyway. It probably wouldn’t even be that much fun, and you don’t have an extra couple hundred bucks to spare. You don’t have a talent, either–you have a Flickr account but it pales in comparison to most. You leave home, satisfied with your application of logic, but somehow your emotions aren’t soaring. Life continues as it has for the past month, week, year, and you’re bored as hell. What could you possibly do to change the status quo? Photography? No–remember? You ruled that out for many good reasons. Something else will come to you. Something much better.

The topic of photography keeps coming up. Opportunities to learn about it present themselves and pass you by. You complain to your friends about how busy you are, about how little time you have to do the things you love–for example, you’d take a photography course if you could, but of course you can’t. You create an increasingly greater distance between you and your idea; you put it on a pedestal when it had originally been accessible through Google (you’ve forgotten about that–you’re now somehow under the impression that you’d need to complete and application and submit a portfolio, and there’s no time for that!). And you stagnate.

Time might be the problem. But even if it is, consider that it isn’t.

Desires don’t have to be very grand to qualify as dreams, nor do dreams have to be very grand to qualify as scary. Why do our dreams scare us? Let me share with you my answers to the big “What Ifs”.

What if I find out I have no talent?
What if it isn’t fun?
What if it turns out to be a waste of money?
What if I don’t learn anything?
What if I have nothing left after this?

If you have no talent, then you have no talent. Wouldn’t you rather find out now so you can move on to trying something else? To finding a real talent? In any case, you probably won’t know for sure until you’ve tried it a few times. Everyone sucks at the beginning.

Also, you might still enjoy the course even if you aren’t particularly gifted. But if you don’t, then you don’t–but I bet that it’d be more fun than you’re having right now. Plus, regardless of the fun rating of an activity, putting yourself in a new environment often busts open some secret thought-doors in your brain, and that, in and of itself, is probably worth the money. Not to mention that your excuse-making will stop, your guilt will lift, your mind will stop nagging you, the pity party will end and you’ll feel more empowered.

Of course, you can do a bit of casual research on a class (don’t let it consume you). But whether you do this or not, it could turn out to be bad. The teacher could have changed since the review was written, and different students want different things from a class, so opinions are biased. To avoid “learning nothing,” make sure the class caters to your skill level. If you’re a beginner, call and make sure the material won’t go over your head; if you’re not, ask what the class covers and see what corresponds to what you don’t already know. If you’re still worried, ask about a refund policy.

What is most debilitating, for me at least, is how blinding a dream is. I tend to run too many thought-experiments and hinge my plans on the outcomes of situations that haven’t happened yet. I daydream about my life and try to design it around what I think I might be good at. That would be fine if I stopped there and actually went out and did the stuff I put in my plan, but I tend to get carried away, planning further and further, until I’ve constructed a story that depends entirely on the outcomes of early variables. When I say that a dream is blinding, I really mean that it renders reasoning very black-and-white (which, especially to someone with depressive tendencies, is to be avoided at all costs); either things go as you’d love them to and your “dream life” actually happens, or they don’t and you’re nothing short of doomed.

This is a fallacy. What I discover, time and time again, is that for every dream I cross off my list, I discover either more dreams, different, or bigger ones. I’m pretty sure this example has been used many times, but it’s powerful: Where would Jimi Hendrix be if he never followed through with buying his first guitar (and even he probably sucked at the beginning)? He would have never built on that dream, it would have never grown, and he would have never seen the heights he reached. The only step you can see clearly is your next one, so take it and let it be inspired–because when you follow your inspiration, fun things happen.

There is never nothing left after this. These days, when I have a recurring thought (which I tag as a dream), I feel like I must follow through, if only to see what goodies lie beyond. Dreams are like babies: when you feed them, they grow, change, and nourish you back.

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